My Girlfriends Husband Smells
This morning I woke huddled under my little sleeping area, shivering from the water that doused me overnight. The leaves I had added didn’t last long and most of them lay soaked with rain on the other side of the lean-to. I really need to build up the shelter so I can stay dry. I have had a little luck weaving the big bladed ones together so I think I’ll try and make a roof of some sort. Was thinking that if I created a triangular shape it would let the water run off.
I stood and stretched. I was going to say good morning to her, but she wasn’t in her spot.
What the hell?
Her rope was broken in the middle. I looked around quickly, expecting her to jump out at me at any second but she was nowhere to be seen. Her gag was on the ground, it looked like she had chewed through it. Not good. I might have to make a new one out of her skirt, the material looks stronger than the thin t-shirt I’m wearing.
I walked to the beach and looked in the water. I hope she didn’t wander into it. I wonder how long she would be able to survive in the ocean. Probably until a shark got her. This presents an interesting question, if she bites an animal will it turn into a zombie? Zombie sharks or zombie dolphins. Man, that is a freaky thought.
The water was crystal clear. The sand warm. It flowed around my toes as I wandered. If I had some beer, food, and a live girl this would be paradise. I don’t know how big the island is yet but I may find out today if she doesn’t turn up.
I scanned the beach and thought I saw movement in the distance. Might be a mirage. The water splashes up sometimes and I think I am seeing live things.
I walked along the water line for a few minutes and sure enough it was her. She was on all fours that’s a new development. I wondered when she got better motor skills.
She was on top of something, I couldn’t make it out but it looked like a person. I started running, thoughts of another survivor leaping to mind. What if someone else made it and she was trying to eat them? Oh My God!
“Hey, HEY!” I yelled.
She turned her head and her good eye locked on mine. She snarled around something in her mouth and then turned back to the thing on the ground. I came up alongside her and to my horror saw it was a body. It was a large person dressed in a flower print shirt that looked awfully familiar.
The stench reached me and I turned away to throw up. I can’t afford to lose anything that was in my stomach so I bit down on my gag reflex. I looked again, this time steeling my mind for the worse and realized who it was.
It was her husband. And she was eating him.
She had his shirt pulled up one side and a large chunk of his side was missing. She ignored me as I walked around, both hands clenched over my mouth as I looked at the body. It was him all right. The last time I had seen him he was laughing while feeling up his hot young wife. She had been vibrant, alive, flushed with champagne. Now they were both dead, although he was sure deader than her.
Oh Crap! What if he came back to life like her? I couldn’t have two zombies wandering around my island.
His head and one arm were in the water, the rest of his body was in the fetal position. I splashed into the surf and grabbed his arm intent on dragging him out to sea. I wanted to weigh his body down with rocks. She hissed at me when I tugged on him but she kept eating.
He must have weighed two fifty in life. Now he was bloated and water logged. His head lolled out of the water and I saw that his eyeballs were missing, eaten away by some sea creature no doubt. His skin was pasty and puffy There was no way that guy was coming back to life. I told myself that over and over. He was too decayed, to full of water and crap. No way man, no fucking way.
His fat ass was hard to move, so I started yanking harder. There was a tear and a sucking noise and suddenly I was falling into the water holding his arm. I splashed and came up sputtering as seawater rushed in my nose and mouth. I stood up fast, wiping it off my face and tossed the arm onto the beach with a squeal of horror. The fleshy part was facing me and all the stringy gooey stuff that used to connect him to his shoulder was hanging there like a weird bowl of pasta. I was amazed that there was no blood. He probably bled out in the water. But how is it he didn’t attract a shark or something?
She ignored me and kept chewing.
I stomped through the water and grabbed the end of the rope that trailed behind her. I gave it a hard tug pulling her off his corpse. She stumbled to her feet and I kept backing up and gave another yank. She fell on her back and stared up at the sky as if in shock, except she still had a mouthful of her husband.
I used the rope to pull her farther away. She struggled but couldn’t figure out how to roll over. She must have crawled to the beach while I was asleep. I am glad she didn’t try to come after me in the night. Last thing I need is for her to take a bite of my arm. Might wake up dead. I mean undead.
I didn't want a repeat of the arm tearing off so I grabbed his legs and pulled. He was so heavy! Maybe I should tear him into pieces after all. It would be a hell of a lot easier if I had an ax. I could hack him apart.
I pulled and pulled. Worked the body inch by inch until it was in the water. Then he was easier to move. He wasn’t really buoyant any more, probably due to his water logged clothes and skin. I wondered if it were possible for a body to stay in the water so long that all of the blood was replaced with sea water.
I was dragging him out to sea by his legs when his head surfaced. That eyeless socket regarded me with something like scorn. Could just be my imagination. I have been alone for a week now. Maybe it’s getting to me.
Alone, yeah I know she is there but she is this mindless shambling thing that wants to eat me. Does that sound like a good companion? At least Tom Hank’s ball didn’t snarl and snap at him all the time.
I was in the water up to my neck when I figured it was far enough. I pushed him and hoped the current would take him out to sea.
It didn’t.
He sank so that only one leg stuck out of the water then he started drifting back to shore. I could see the current pulling him, his face being dragged along the sharp reef. That wouldn't do much for his looks. I dragged him back out and then went underwater pulling one leg with me. I found a large rock and wedged his foot under it. Took a few tries to lock him in place but when I was done only his neck and head were showing.
Shit, I should have taken his clothes while I was at it. Might need those later.
It wasn’t hard to tug his shirt off his one armed torso. I threw it on shore and went back for the pants but there was no way I could tear them off unless I let him loose again.
She was freaking out by now, rolling over and over trying to get to her side. In a furious final push, that looked like an old lady trying to get up. (Help, help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.) She made one last attempt and actually rolled over onto her stomach and started crawling toward the arm. That gave me an idea how to get her back to camp and keep her busy for the rest of the day.
I waded onto shore, water logged like her ex, and grabbed the arm. It probably looked like I was shaking hands. She kept her eye on the meat the whole time. I shook it in front of her face “You want some food baby? Come with me, I got a one course meal with your name on it.”
I walked away with his arm dragging in the sand. She followed close, her eye never leaving the pale ragged flesh.
I dropped the arm when we got back and she leaned over and started nuzzling the flesh like a lover. I know, the irony, right? I tied the rope back together while she ignored me. I repeated the courtesy by ignoring her chewing.
After that I had pretty good luck with the surf and turf - although it was mostly surf. The turf came when I cooked a star fish in the weird papaya looking fruit shell and ended up chowing down on one of the palm leaves I used to cover it up. Tasted gross but it was one of the most filling meals I have had yet.
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